The Great Balancing Act

Sometimes I feel like I have it all together. I have a great job I love, my beautiful daughter, a supportive husband, a house under renovation, but none the less a great house. And than days like yesterday happen, and I feel like I'm teetering on a see- saw.

On Thursday night, after a fun day at the pumpkin patch, A. had some red dots and a fever. We got a notice from school last week that someone had chicken pox. Well, that meant the next day she needed to stay home. Now normally this wouldn't be a problem but as it turned out J. and I both had meetings at 2:30.

Friday morning arrived and no more dots were present which meant it probably wasn't chicken pox, but she still wasn't feeling well. My meeting was a web cast so it the logical decision was I took A. to work with me in the morning, and would be home in time for my web cast. Did the test web cast, all worked great.

A. and I had fun in my office, we came home, she napped. And of course she woke up right before my web cast meeting. And of course the web cast wasn't working on my browser. So after a frantic call to a colleague who would sit in for me at work, all was solved right?

No the guilt of balancing it all still haunts me. I know that I'm a good mother. A. is very happy and content. We are always doing fun things. But for a few moments yesterday felt burdened by motherhood. Like can I really do this: balance a career and a family? I know it's not impossible. But the biggest thing that gets me is the guilt. Why am I so frantic about missing work? It is just work. It doesn't define me. And so the guilt trucks on. And I do know I'm not alone.

Luckily, I have an amazing support system who helps me in balancing. My boss is fantastic. She understands how hard it is balancing work and family. I have the most amazing friends. And of course my husband who shares the responsibility of parenthood with me. He is often on the see-saw with me.

But than there's days like yesterday where it's all so overwhelming. And I fall of the see-saw for a moment. But it's that support system and the job of mother that catches me and keeps me going.